There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
