this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
