Have you finally orgasmed yet?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
