I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
