just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
