Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
