Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
