no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
