Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
