you win again, gameday.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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