I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
