She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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