I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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