Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
