So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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