...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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