I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
