Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
