Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
