No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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