Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
