She said her name was "party"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
