Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize
