Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
