He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
