I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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