dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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