The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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