Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
