Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
