I'm jealous of your bromance
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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