we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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