she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.