hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.