I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
where am i from again
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
