try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
