I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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