So drunk its hurt
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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