Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize