If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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