I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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