How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
