I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
