So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
