If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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