But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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