He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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