Whod you bang
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize