Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
