I love black thongs
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
