Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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