I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
