Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
