You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have fence marks all over my body
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
