I cannot find my penis.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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