check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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