I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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