I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
