He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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