My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
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