I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i came on her dog
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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