Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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